How to get Out of a Rut when your Friends are on Fire

Are you young enough to not have your shit together, but old enough to wish you did? You might be in a rut. Keep reading for my advice on how to feel good about it.

Get out of a rut

If you’re in your 20s then you’ve probably hit (or are about to hit) the point where it seems everyone around you is doing all the things you want to be doing. Your Facebook newsfeed is an endless scroll of pregnancy announcements, engagement photos, or friends bitching about jobs that seem to be 100x better than yours. I reached this stage of my life last year and while it wasn’t easy and my optimism might’ve gone into hiding for a bit, I did learn some things.

Shine Theory

Shine theory

This is a big one! Shine Theory is an idea created by the two incredible lady bosses behind the podcast Call Your Girlfriend. In short, it means that your friends’ and other women’s accomplishments are YOUR accomplishments. If you can let go of your own insecurities and feel truly happy for your friends, you can get yourself out of your rut and keep moving towards your own amazing goals.

Embrace your Envy

Envy is an awful feeling. You know what feels worse? The combination of envy and guilt. Don’t get down on yourself for being envious of your friends’ accomplishments. Its natural and its practically impossible to control. What you can do is reflect on those hard feelings. Get to the root of it. Are you really angry that your best friend got promoted? Of course not! Most likely, you’re hurt because you didn’t. The more you reflect on these feelings, the easier it will be to congratulate them and focus on your own goals.

Enjoy the Ride

Path to success

I’ve known too many women who want to rush through everything. Yes, I want to have a successful blog. Yes, I want to open an online store and do freelance photography and publish a book. Yes, I have an embarrassing amount of pins saved to my “future wedding” board on Pinterest. This doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the process. If you reach a big step and immediately start dreaming about the next one, you’re not enjoying every rung of the ladder.

I’ve been there, guys. Feeling like everyone is rushing past you in life can be alienating and defeating. I hope this advice will help you get unstuck. Hard feelings will only make a harder journey. Push past and reach your goals!


You may also like


  1. This is such a refreshing post. I like the embrace your envy thing. I love that you validate everyone feelings and still give them a push off point for themselves. Great post!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *